WLP: Welcome to Writings of a Wicked Book Addict, Mark. Great to have you here!

MH: Thanks! Glad to be here!

WLP: Since this is that oh so special season, what has been the worst gift you’ve ever received?

MH: Once, at a work party–one of those where you steal gifts from each other and inevitably end up with crap you try to ditch in the host’s trash before you leave–I received an old-fashioned enema bag, hose, nozzle, the whole shebang. It did make an interesting beer bong, though, but that’s another story entirely.

WLP: What about the best gift you’ve ever given?

MH: My wife and I hired a commercial photographer for our wedding because we wanted everything to look candid, yet posed. Think magazine ads—and we were really happy with the result. but then, they just sat in a box for ten years. Sure, some made the album (also in a box) and one is in a frame, but other than that nada. So for our 10-year anniversary, I got two shadow-boxes and made these really cool combinations of the sepia tone shots with pearl stick pins and grosgrain. Trés Martha Stewart and shit. She loved it.

WLP: What do you think is the WORST Christmas song ever recorded?

MH: That would have to be Christmas Conga by Cyndi Lauper. Normally fun, vivacious and daring, Cyndi is completely uninspired with this holiday abortion, she even sounds bored singing it, but not half as bored you’ll be if you pick up this piece of crap.

WLP: Do you have any holiday traditions?

MH: Yep. Every year we drag our roach butts to Midnight Mass with the rest of the sinners and pray that we’re not dragged straight to hell from the pews, then we head home and revert to the gluttonous heathens we are, gorging ourselves on prime rib, excessive gifts (with more wrapping than a Japanese grocery store) and, of course, kinky sex, and by “kinky sex” I mean holding our over stuffed guts and groaning (so if you’re into that then take the image to the toilet with you and have at it).  But seriously, I love the holidays and we tend to do it up.

WLP: Moving on to your books, you have two books coming out in 2010, Battle of the Network Zombies & the mass-market paperback reissue of Happy Hour of the Damned. Can you tell us about them?

MH: Well, if I’m talking about the books in general, they’ve been called urban fantasy, but they’re really urban fantasy’s sick and wrong bitchy cousins.  Battle of the Network Zombies is the third book in the Amanda Feral zombie comedy series. In this one, Amanda continues to battle her conscience (she likes to think she has one), hits the skids and must take a miserable role in a reality show (American Minions, which was the working title of the book).  This one is, at least, 50% dirtier than the last two, possibly 75% more. Okay, I’m lying, it’s 200% more filthy than either Happy Hour of the Damned or Road Trip of the Living Dead.

Speaking of, Happy Hour of the Damned, it’s being reissued in mass market paperback at the end of January (so it’s technically a February release).  I’m hoping it takes off in that format, because otherwise…thwack! Yep folks, that’s the sound of the axe coming down, and not the panty-dropping result of Axe Body Spray, as I’d much prefer.  So go out and buy! Hit my website for instructions on how to get the books personalized to increase your zombie smut pleasure!

WLP: I’ve read that you are writing a YA set in the same world as Amanda, how’s that coming along? Any idea when that will be out?

MH: Actually, the world is completely different.  YA and Amanda’s world REALLY don’t go together, the vulgarity and irreverent humor are a bit too much. Also, it’s not a novel that’s been sold, though I have a short story in a YA anthology coming out soon that’s set in the same world. Under a pen name. It seems that the third Amanda book, how shall I say, stretches the limits of good taste to the point that my adult fantasy writing persona, would not be welcome in the YA world. Muhahaha!

WLP: I’ve also read that you are writing Erotica? Can you share anything about that?

MH: That is so undercover, I’m not going to say a thing. Shhhh.

WLP: What’s up with the tweeting of movies? You must enlighten my readers about Monsturd!

MH: LOL. Monsturd was this crazy—and I mean crazy—flick about a monster turd. I’m addicted to Twitter anyway, and occasionally, when things like Monsturd fall into my lap (or out of the back of my pants), I’m compelled to microblog the shit out of it. All in good fun, of course.

WLP: What do you think is your biggest vice?

MH: Food. No question. It’s my crutch, my stress relief. I used to smoke a pack a day and quit four years ago, cold turkey. Unfortunately, I can’t do the same with food. So my weight fluctuates, I have to exercise, diet and inevitably I falter and overeat, which begins the cycle again. Ugh.

WLP: Favorite book of 2009?

MH: Definitely Boneshaker by Cherie Priest. Zombies, steampunk and a really compelling heroine.  Everyone should pick this book up, immediately. I mean. Right. Now. Some other stuff I’ve loved: When You Are Engulfed By Flames by David Sedaris, hilarious personal essayist and New Yorker regular, Red Headed Stepchild by Jaye Wells and Tempest Rising by Nicole Peeler (love both of these ladies in person and am so relieved to say that I can hear their voices with such clarity in their work).

WLP: Yesterday, Dakota Cassidy had the chance to ask YOU a question: Darling Mark, do you think I’m prettier than Jaye Wells and Nicole Peeler? Love, Dakota J

MH: Oh Dakota, you don’t need anyone to tell you you’re pretty, self-esteem comes from within. It makes my heart hurt for you that you have to ask. Sigh.

WLP: Tomorrows guest is Nicole Peeler. It’s your turn to ask Nicole ANYTHING and she has to answer!

MH: You often wear fascinators in your luscious red hair, now, if they made fancy fabulous fascinators for the snootch, what would yours look like?

WLP: Thanks for stopping by Mark, this has to be one of my most memorable interviews to date!

CONTEST ALERT!!

Mark has offered up 2 advance copies of Happy Hour of the Damned (MMPB) to 2 lucky readers. All you have to do is:

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Don’t forget to visit Mark on his Website because we NEED to save Amanda!