WLP Most Searched Term Is ?
March 19, 2010 in Twilight, WLP Wants To Know
Today I took a peek at what people searched to end up here…I was horrified. My blog is about books, but somehow this is how people keep landing on my blog by the search term:
Twilight Condoms.
You all know how much I love to rip on Twilight, I am not a fan. But Twilight Condoms? Marketing Fail. Twilight is marketed to kids right? Condoms, not so much. Right parents who freak because there’s a condom vending machine in a school? God forbid your kids protect themselves. But I digress, I could go on for days about that but alas…I must rip again on Twilight and Marketing.
My friend Ale sent me some links on Twitter today, which caused my fingers to hyperspeed across the keyboard.
This one is what made me have to post:
Yes, it’s kinda funny cause it’s obviously a joke but really…kids search for Twilight & may come across this?! Ugh. No wonder I don’t have the urge to be a parent.
Ale then lead me on an epic journey through condoms, since hell it’s my most searched term isn’t it. Thanks Ale. I’m now cackling, because I want to get my hands on some of these.
 
Yes, seriously. These do exist. While I haven’t seen them with my own eyes, I can’t believe I didn’t think up the idea myself.
This by far is my favorite. Dog Condoms. Please note that they are MEAT SCENTED. Thats right, meat. I am going to let you all do the crappy jokes for that one.
This makes sense, because so many woman I know actually LIKE whiskey?!
It’s a merchandising cash cow my friends, so why not make Twilight Condoms?
*dies laughing* I was expecting something funny… yet as always– you surprise me! HAHAHA! From Twilight to Twilight Condoms, to Condoms… It is funnier than the twilight creepy merch posts I saw today. And what about the zzparkling dildo? *Snort*
LOL I have already attacked most of the weird mech they have out there, but the condoms they killed me. I would have loved to have had the measurement ones back in the day!
I do like the meassuring ones– I would get a kick out of those! heehee And I do hear you about the parenting stuff *shudders* not for me tyvm– I do not want a “reneesme” running around, ask me again in 10 years! HAHAHA
LOL
*pissing my pants*
Hey – I’m a fan of scotch!
LOL than you go on with your badself and get some of those condoms! lol
Wow. Just freaking wow. Aside from the condometric (there’s some amusement to be hand there at least), how do the people who came up with these ideas even have jobs? But then I ask myself the same question every time another Will Farrel movie comes out, so maybe I’m just not normal.
You aren’t normal, that’s why we get along cause IM not normal. Now if they had beer flavoured condoms…
Hell, I even seriously love me some scotch. Unfortunately I’m not nearly so enthusiastic about penis. Maybe if I were a bit more flexible…
You sir are an ass, coffee just came out my nose (and you know how attractive that is in a lady).
Not for YOU! Geeze. But if you can bend THAT low…
Hubby claims if he were a bit more flexible I would have to have full time job…. he would never leave the house. I wonder about him sometimes….But then if you were doing “that” yourself, why would you need flavored condoms? I guess nothing goes better with scotch than the taste of latex….
Hey, I find thinking I’m funny very attractive in a lady. It’s pretty much a requirement even.
Even with coffee snot? Amazing.
LMAO!!! I love your blog
LOL thanks, I’m a weirdo aren’t I?
I’m dying here…really. lol
Need the whiskey condom to help you breath?
Maybe condoms could be use instead of paperbags from now on…
Wait, would they be in-use or not at the time?
*shakes head at Buzz*
I’m just sayin… Guys’d be a lot quicker to lend a hand…
LOL geezus, I don’t even know what to say now!
I think I just snorted myself into a coughing fit. attractive.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Lol too funny!
Everyone needs a dog condom!
i want to know who is putting these dog condoms on….. because EWWW
Oh lord. I didn’t even think about that, thanks alot. Ugh.
What I want to know is who is tasting them *cringe- gag*
They’re meat SCENTED Ale, not meat FLAVOURED. lmfao
Oops, Right.. I forgot… I was even wondering how much they were paying them *silly moment* =P
Yep, you need help Ale.
Thank you for this hilarious post!!! I love the “No Renesme This Month” pack of BC pills!!
*wonders* Can you get drunk from sucking on whiskey flavored condoms….?
Depends how many whiskey flavoured condoms you plan on sucking in a day is my guess.
Well I ain’t sucking on any! LOL
That makes two of us, that taste would never get outta your mouth. Yes, I went there.
we should do a whiskey flavored condom sucking challenge
Dibs on judging.
You have fun with that, I’m not going there. *shudder*
Nearly fell out of my chair laughing! Thanks, I needed that!
LOL anytime, honestly.
See Natasha this is why you are a “beautiful blogger” to me!!!! LMAO :0
I saw this on twitter thanks Book Vixen for the heads up, um no pun intended….
Twilight condoms search takes us to WLP site, how rich…. I loved this one as usual you got us all going and it was worth coming over and taking part in the fun!!!!
I am with you on the no way no how trying to get drunk from Whiskey Flavored condoms, my mouth hasn’t got that many muscles for the kind of action that would take!!!!!
jackie b central texas
LOL I think weird blogger is a better term for me, nothings ever standard over here. I AM the Wicked Pixie right? Gotta mix it up a bit.
And nope, there’d be no way with the whiskey condoms for me…beer, rum, hell even tequilla might get that latex taste out.
Actually, tequila would be just as likely to lead to even more latex taste. You just never can tell with tequila.
But see, with tequila after a few shots you’d be so hammered you wouldn’t taste anything anyways
See THINK AHEAD!
Thinking and tequila are mutually exclusive.
Bah! It is prior to opening that bottle of memory loss.
Be Prepared. Me and the boy scouts.
LOL somehow you+boy scouts = me on the floor laughing
Hey, I was a scout. Till me and a bud set a couch we found out in the woods on fire during a camping trip anyway.
Which proves my point. Thank you for doing the dirty work for me.
I have heard about boy scouts and what they do to good young men *shudder* LMAO
Yeah, I spose I should have at least washed my foot before that one.
Just bend over and…take it like a man.
There, its all over.
Damn, and I didn’t even git dinner first.
Cheap date you are!
The cheapest, baby! *eyebrow waggle*
I’ve noticed this already, so tell me something I don’t know and can use against you at a future date.
Used against me or used against me effectively? Cause, see, shame and me are pretty much never found in the same place.
Bah. I forgot you are my male counterpart, thus rendering anything you tell me unaffective cause I’ve probably done something worse or similar.
Yup, wonder twins powers activate and all that jazz.
Hardly :p I’m too cool for that shit. You’re on your own!
Your loss, I look awesome in purple spandex.
Ugh. Attraction lost. WTG.
That mean I won the thread?
Never. I’m a woman after all, I fight to the death.
Oh please, like you guys ever let anyone off with something as easy as death.
True, I’d haunt your ass. But your life span is much shorter than mine.
Eh, I definitely win then. That or you’ll have to help me haunt nudie bars after I you die.
ROTFLMAO god why. I’ve seen the woman in them, not hot unless you liked used goods with bruises.
Oh right, ghosts can’t get drunk. In that case, I see your logic and parry it with a picture of the cutest vampire ever.
http://literarydistortion.serveftp.net/vampshadow.jpg
OMG is she yours? If so, good genes my friend!
If she is, I got a buddy who’s gonna want to kill me to death for sleeping with his wife. Nope, I’m her uncle, boyfriend, prey (when she’s a tiger, wolf, vampire, or sith lord), inappropriate language tutor, and comrade in general mischief.
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by WickedLPixie: WLP Most Searched Term Is: Twilight Condoms….so lets take that a little further shall we? http://bit.ly/cp9Y00...
Damn we keep running outta space!
She is adorable & I don’t really like peoples kids (shush don’t tell anyone) but she is rocking the fangs, my kinda kid!
And how does one kill you to death? *snort*
I’m hoping by forcing me to drink far too many good beers and sending a succession of punk chicks over until I die of heart failure.
LMFAO good luck with that
She really is, and what’s worse is she already knows how to play it up. Girl’s gonna be a force of nature when she gets dating age.
It’s the way of the kick ass woman, we come out flirting!
I really don’t think there’s going to be any stopping her. Nother example: I go in to read her a story one night while her dad’s putting her brother down and she goes to show me her stuffed animals. We go through a few puppys, a pig, a bear, a few tigers, then we get to a timber wolf.
Me: Is that another puppy?
I get glared at.
Her: No! Issa woof!
She proceeds to have it savagely maul her pig by way of demonstration.
Also, she’s had the nickname of Shadow since before her first birthday. And then there’s this:
http://literarydistortion.serveftp.net/sithshadow.jpg
LMFAO!! Yep my kinda kid. My bestfriends youngest (well until next month when she pops out her third) is a mini me, he sucks his teeth and says shit all the time. He hugs me and makes sure I say AWWW every single time he hugs me.
Ha! She is cute Buzzard! My girls have been wearing storm troopers outfits and claiming one ring to rule us all since they were like 2. I blame their dad.
Oh my!!! That was so great!! I practically drowned on my coffee reading it. God, the dog condoms, just . . . I don’t know what to say. The terror running loose in my mind.
The Mighty Buzzard, there will be no stopping her. Cinderella meets the dark side, watch out!
When my parents were on a trip to Scotland my dad took a picture of a whisky-flavored condom machine in a public restroom in Edinburgh!
ROTFLMAO so they DO exist! Tell Mom I want that pic! LOL
BTW I totally need to respond to your email, I keep forgetting!