WLP Most Searched Term Is ?

Today I took a peek at what people searched to end up here…I was horrified. My blog is about books, but somehow this is how people keep landing on my blog by the search term:

Twilight Condoms.

You all know how much I love to rip on Twilight, I am not a fan. But Twilight Condoms? Marketing Fail. Twilight is marketed to kids right? Condoms, not so much. Right parents who freak because there’s a condom vending machine in a school? God forbid your kids protect themselves. But I digress, I could go on for days about that but alas…I must rip again on Twilight and Marketing.

My friend Ale sent me some links on Twitter today, which caused my fingers to hyperspeed across the keyboard.

This one is what made me have to post:

Yes, it’s kinda funny cause it’s obviously a joke but really…kids search for Twilight & may come across this?! Ugh. No wonder I don’t have the urge to be a parent.

Ale then lead me on an epic journey through condoms, since hell it’s my most searched term isn’t it. Thanks Ale. I’m now cackling, because I want to get my hands on some of these.

 

Yes, seriously. These do exist. While I haven’t seen them with my own eyes, I can’t believe I didn’t think up the idea myself.

This by far is my favorite. Dog Condoms. Please note that they are MEAT SCENTED. Thats right, meat. I am going to let you all do the crappy jokes for that one.

This makes sense, because so many woman I know actually LIKE whiskey?!

It’s a merchandising cash cow my friends, so why not make Twilight Condoms?

Comments
  • Ale March 19, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    *dies laughing* I was expecting something funny… yet as always– you surprise me! HAHAHA! From Twilight to Twilight Condoms, to Condoms… It is funnier than the twilight creepy merch posts I saw today. And what about the zzparkling dildo? *Snort*

    • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 2:54 pm

      LOL I have already attacked most of the weird mech they have out there, but the condoms they killed me. I would have loved to have had the measurement ones back in the day!

      • Ale March 19, 2010 at 3:35 pm

        I do like the meassuring ones– I would get a kick out of those! heehee And I do hear you about the parenting stuff *shudders* not for me tyvm– I do not want a “reneesme” running around, ask me again in 10 years! HAHAHA

  • Hannah March 19, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    *pissing my pants*

    Hey – I’m a fan of scotch!

    • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 3:52 pm

      LOL than you go on with your badself and get some of those condoms! lol

  • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    Wow. Just freaking wow. Aside from the condometric (there’s some amusement to be hand there at least), how do the people who came up with these ideas even have jobs? But then I ask myself the same question every time another Will Farrel movie comes out, so maybe I’m just not normal.

    • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 7:05 pm

      You aren’t normal, that’s why we get along cause IM not normal. Now if they had beer flavoured condoms…

      • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 7:42 pm

        Hell, I even seriously love me some scotch. Unfortunately I’m not nearly so enthusiastic about penis. Maybe if I were a bit more flexible…

        • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 7:43 pm

          You sir are an ass, coffee just came out my nose (and you know how attractive that is in a lady).

          Not for YOU! Geeze. But if you can bend THAT low…

          • kindlevixen March 19, 2010 at 7:45 pm

            Hubby claims if he were a bit more flexible I would have to have full time job…. he would never leave the house. I wonder about him sometimes….But then if you were doing “that” yourself, why would you need flavored condoms? I guess nothing goes better with scotch than the taste of latex….

          • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 7:49 pm

            Hey, I find thinking I’m funny very attractive in a lady. It’s pretty much a requirement even.

  • Mandi March 19, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    LMAO!!! I love your blog :)

  • Fiction Vixen March 19, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    I’m dying here…really. lol

    • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 7:24 pm

      Need the whiskey condom to help you breath?

      • kindlevixen March 19, 2010 at 7:46 pm

        Maybe condoms could be use instead of paperbags from now on…

        • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 7:51 pm

          Wait, would they be in-use or not at the time?

          • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 7:52 pm

            *shakes head at Buzz*

            • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 7:55 pm

              I’m just sayin… Guys’d be a lot quicker to lend a hand…

          • kindlevixen March 19, 2010 at 7:52 pm

            I think I just snorted myself into a coughing fit. attractive.

  • Tiah March 19, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • Dawn March 19, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    Lol too funny!

    • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 7:35 pm

      Everyone needs a dog condom!

      • kindlevixen March 19, 2010 at 7:53 pm

        i want to know who is putting these dog condoms on….. because EWWW

        • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 7:55 pm

          Oh lord. I didn’t even think about that, thanks alot. Ugh.

        • Ale March 19, 2010 at 8:02 pm

          What I want to know is who is tasting them *cringe- gag*

          • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 8:06 pm

            They’re meat SCENTED Ale, not meat FLAVOURED. lmfao

            • Ale March 19, 2010 at 8:14 pm

              Oops, Right.. I forgot… I was even wondering how much they were paying them *silly moment* =P

  • The Book Vixen March 19, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    Thank you for this hilarious post!!! I love the “No Renesme This Month” pack of BC pills!!

    *wonders* Can you get drunk from sucking on whiskey flavored condoms….?

    • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 7:59 pm

      Depends how many whiskey flavoured condoms you plan on sucking in a day is my guess.

      • The Book Vixen March 19, 2010 at 8:29 pm

        Well I ain’t sucking on any! LOL

        • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 8:30 pm

          That makes two of us, that taste would never get outta your mouth. Yes, I went there.

  • kindlevixen March 19, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    we should do a whiskey flavored condom sucking challenge

  • Rachel(jacobsbeloved) March 19, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    Nearly fell out of my chair laughing! Thanks, I needed that!

  • Jackie Burris March 19, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    See Natasha this is why you are a “beautiful blogger” to me!!!! LMAO :0

    I saw this on twitter thanks Book Vixen for the heads up, um no pun intended….

    Twilight condoms search takes us to WLP site, how rich…. I loved this one as usual you got us all going and it was worth coming over and taking part in the fun!!!!

    I am with you on the no way no how trying to get drunk from Whiskey Flavored condoms, my mouth hasn’t got that many muscles for the kind of action that would take!!!!!
    jackie b central texas

    • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 8:20 pm

      LOL I think weird blogger is a better term for me, nothings ever standard over here. I AM the Wicked Pixie right? Gotta mix it up a bit.

      And nope, there’d be no way with the whiskey condoms for me…beer, rum, hell even tequilla might get that latex taste out.

      • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 8:34 pm

        Actually, tequila would be just as likely to lead to even more latex taste. You just never can tell with tequila.

        • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 8:35 pm

          But see, with tequila after a few shots you’d be so hammered you wouldn’t taste anything anyways ;) See THINK AHEAD!

          • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 8:36 pm

            Thinking and tequila are mutually exclusive.

            • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 8:37 pm

              Bah! It is prior to opening that bottle of memory loss.

              • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 8:38 pm

                Be Prepared. Me and the boy scouts.

                • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 8:39 pm

                  LOL somehow you+boy scouts = me on the floor laughing

                  • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 8:42 pm

                    Hey, I was a scout. Till me and a bud set a couch we found out in the woods on fire during a camping trip anyway.

                    • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 8:42 pm

                      Which proves my point. Thank you for doing the dirty work for me.

                  • kindlevixen March 19, 2010 at 8:43 pm

                    I have heard about boy scouts and what they do to good young men *shudder* LMAO

                    • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 8:47 pm

                      Yeah, I spose I should have at least washed my foot before that one.

  • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    Just bend over and…take it like a man.

    There, its all over.

    • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 8:49 pm

      Damn, and I didn’t even git dinner first.

      • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 8:49 pm

        Cheap date you are!

        • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 8:50 pm

          The cheapest, baby! *eyebrow waggle*

          • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 8:51 pm

            I’ve noticed this already, so tell me something I don’t know and can use against you at a future date.

            • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 8:58 pm

              Used against me or used against me effectively? Cause, see, shame and me are pretty much never found in the same place.

              • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 8:59 pm

                Bah. I forgot you are my male counterpart, thus rendering anything you tell me unaffective cause I’ve probably done something worse or similar.

  • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    Ugh. Attraction lost. WTG.

    • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 9:16 pm

      That mean I won the thread?

      • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 9:17 pm

        Never. I’m a woman after all, I fight to the death.

        • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 9:20 pm

          Oh please, like you guys ever let anyone off with something as easy as death.

          • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 9:22 pm

            True, I’d haunt your ass. But your life span is much shorter than mine.

            • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 9:27 pm

              Eh, I definitely win then. That or you’ll have to help me haunt nudie bars after I you die.

              • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 9:29 pm

                ROTFLMAO god why. I’ve seen the woman in them, not hot unless you liked used goods with bruises.

                • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 9:35 pm

                  Oh right, ghosts can’t get drunk. In that case, I see your logic and parry it with a picture of the cutest vampire ever.

                  http://literarydistortion.serveftp.net/vampshadow.jpg

                  • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 9:36 pm

                    OMG is she yours? If so, good genes my friend!

                    • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 9:42 pm

                      If she is, I got a buddy who’s gonna want to kill me to death for sleeping with his wife. Nope, I’m her uncle, boyfriend, prey (when she’s a tiger, wolf, vampire, or sith lord), inappropriate language tutor, and comrade in general mischief.

  • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 9:45 pm

    Damn we keep running outta space!

    She is adorable & I don’t really like peoples kids (shush don’t tell anyone) but she is rocking the fangs, my kinda kid!

    • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 9:45 pm

      And how does one kill you to death? *snort*

      • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 9:53 pm

        I’m hoping by forcing me to drink far too many good beers and sending a succession of punk chicks over until I die of heart failure.

    • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 9:50 pm

      She really is, and what’s worse is she already knows how to play it up. Girl’s gonna be a force of nature when she gets dating age.

      • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 9:50 pm

        It’s the way of the kick ass woman, we come out flirting!

        • The Mighty Buzzard March 19, 2010 at 10:09 pm

          I really don’t think there’s going to be any stopping her. Nother example: I go in to read her a story one night while her dad’s putting her brother down and she goes to show me her stuffed animals. We go through a few puppys, a pig, a bear, a few tigers, then we get to a timber wolf.

          Me: Is that another puppy?
          I get glared at.
          Her: No! Issa woof!
          She proceeds to have it savagely maul her pig by way of demonstration.

          Also, she’s had the nickname of Shadow since before her first birthday. And then there’s this:

          http://literarydistortion.serveftp.net/sithshadow.jpg

          • Wicked Lil Pixie March 19, 2010 at 10:13 pm

            LMFAO!! Yep my kinda kid. My bestfriends youngest (well until next month when she pops out her third) is a mini me, he sucks his teeth and says shit all the time. He hugs me and makes sure I say AWWW every single time he hugs me.

            • kindlevixen March 20, 2010 at 12:31 am

              Ha! She is cute Buzzard! My girls have been wearing storm troopers outfits and claiming one ring to rule us all since they were like 2. I blame their dad.

  • Shera (Book Whispers) March 20, 2010 at 12:26 am

    Oh my!!! That was so great!! I practically drowned on my coffee reading it. God, the dog condoms, just . . . I don’t know what to say. The terror running loose in my mind.

    The Mighty Buzzard, there will be no stopping her. Cinderella meets the dark side, watch out!

  • Jenna Maclaine March 20, 2010 at 11:45 am

    When my parents were on a trip to Scotland my dad took a picture of a whisky-flavored condom machine in a public restroom in Edinburgh! :)

    • Wicked Lil Pixie March 20, 2010 at 11:47 am

      ROTFLMAO so they DO exist! Tell Mom I want that pic! LOL

      BTW I totally need to respond to your email, I keep forgetting!

  • Bella Cullen December 25, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    NO RENESMEE THIS MONTH NOT RENEESME

Trackbacks
  • uberVU - social comments March 19, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by WickedLPixie: WLP Most Searched Term Is: Twilight Condoms….so lets take that a little further shall we? http://bit.ly/cp9Y00

     
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