K.C. – Possible Warning Signs That May Indicate…You Are a B Movie Junkie

July 3, 2010 in Books & Reviews, Guest Bloggers

Now, we all have a proclivity to be addicted to something. Some of us may like to indulge in the ADHD like substance that makes you perkier than a Pomeranian on crack, otherwise known as caffeine. Others may indulge in the powdery, sweet white stuff that tastes so good, at certain times of the month should my supplies run low, Mr. Smokin’ would be in perilous danger. You may have heard of it’s street name, PMS Preventer, otherwise known as sugar, or in it’s more refined state, chocolate. Then there are those of us who have a different sort of addiction, a darker, more sinister secret. We may wear our boxy business suits, Cookie Lee jewelry and two inch kitten heels, but inside of us lives a deep, dark, secret, something no one would guess…We like, dunh, dunh, dunh… B movies!!

This all started as these things normally do, in childhood. Being one of three girls, our Father had no choice. Since the universe had chosen not to give him any sons he had to do the best he could with what the man upstairs had dealt him, and pass on his knowledge of all things B movie to his girls. Barbies were for those other girls that got to wear pink and play dress-up, we had monster trucks, were furniture movers and had to help Dad in the yard. We were ‘sturdier’ than most. It was only fair that since we mowed the lawn better than the neighbor boy next door, that we got to join in on the male bonding activity, B movie watching.

There were three simple rules that we had to follow at all times.
1) There could be no cringing, flinching, covering of eyes, crying out, or any other outward signs of girly distress. The movie stayed on until the end, and you will like it!

2) You will be allowed to watch killer aliens travel millions of miles to hunt humans while Arnold tries to save the world, guns, blood, and gore. Should the movie have any kissing, canoodling, and or suspicious hugging it will be turned off and thrown out of the VCR. We don’t want another Dirty Dancing incident. (hangs head in shame).

3). And if your mother asks, you are watching Anne of Green Gables.

If you’ve watched any of the below B Movie and liked it, these are signs you are a B Movie Junkie (welcome my people).

Killer Clowns From Outter Space (1988): Aliens who look like clowns come from outer space and terrorize a small town. Popcorn turns into little monsters and eats people. No joke.