WLPW2K – Irrational Fears
I have a few “irrational” fears, I admit some of them (okay all of them) are pretty pathetic. All of them have some sort of story behind them, which makes it even more pathetic.
Fish.
Yes, I freely admit I am afraid of fish. Irony at it’s finest, I love fishing. But I refuse to take the fish off the hook, I will stand there until someone, anyone takes it away. I think it’s gotten to the point that I can’t catch a single fish because I am silently praying I won’t have to touch it.
When I was a kid, my sisters best-friend owned a pet store (he still does) & we’d always be there with him while he opened the store. Needless to say, back in the 80′s they didn’t usually have lids on the fish tanks. (Check out the picture, this really is his store & the gauntlet I walked as a child). The fish would leap out of their tanks in a bid for freedom, not realizing they’d meet sudden death. Imagine being a teeny child & dodging flying fish, yep scared the hell out of me. To this day, I avoid that section of the store. No way!
*Shudder* You see that shit people, that was my nightmare as a child. It’s a lot nicer then it used to be & there are lids on the tanks now, but still.
Turkeys.
I hear you all laughing loudly now, yes I freely admit I am DEATHLY afraid of turkeys. Last summer we had one walk down the driveway at the cottage & make its way to the back porch…where I was. That sucker made a gobble of doom noise & I was gone faster then I’d have moved if someone screamed GUN. I hid in the cottage, peeking out the window until that bitch turkey left. I called one of my sisters to tell her, since my brother in-law is a hunter, what does my sister say to calm my fear? “They fly”. WHAT!!! WHAT!! Since when, why didn’t a single person tell me turkey’s flew? After that shit right there people, I was looking up at trees the whole time I was at the cottage.
Now, why I am afraid of turkey’s is another childhood tale. I have come to the conclusion, I spent way too much time around animals as a child. Between the Pet Store trips, there was the farm. It used to be Toronto’s Zoo but when I was a kid it was & still is Riverdale Farm. Anyways, I digress…they had roosters, chickens & bunnys walking (free range) around the joint. But the turkeys had this rickity wooden fence around them & this vast area of land for them to do whatever the hell turkeys do. No matter how far away the turkeys were (we’re talking 100 feet of space in each direction) whenever I would come up to that rickity fence, these nasty things would gobble & RUN at me. I would cry in terror & run away, but this would happen every single time I went to the farm. You’d figure I was smart enough to stay the hell away, no not until I turned 9. That was it for me, turkeys should be stuffed & golden in my humble opinion. Plus they are ugly as sin, tell me you wouldn’t run if you saw one of those suckers gobbling at you?
I seem to have issues with other birds as well, Pigeons, Seagulls & any small bird freak me right out. Last summer, I accidentally kicked a sparrow whilst in flip flops. I am sure the whole downtown area heard me scream, I felt it’s beak on my toe people!! Ugh. It was too busy in a group eating garbage on the street & I was too busy not looking down! Yeah, not cool. Strangely enough my best-friends are now afraid of Pigeons & Seagulls too. My fault I guess. A few months back one of the best friends was attacked by a red winged black bird. After I cackled hard, I said a private thank you to the gods & goddesses that it didn’t get me, cause explaining heart attack by bird would be hard wouldn’t it.
The strangest of my bird issues is, I absolutly love Crows, Hawks, Falcons, Ravens & Parrots. At the pet store they have a Parrot named Chloe who was born around the time I was, she is still alive (almost 30) & whenever I go into visit she screams my name at the top of her lungs. See isn’t she awesome?
So I am weird, but I know I can’t be the only one with irrational fears.
WLP Wants 2 Know, what are YOUR irrational fears?
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I have a completely irrational fear of needles. Not the ordinary ‘oh, don’t give me a shot, it hurts’ fear, either. When I think about needles of any kind, some part of my hindbrain is absolutely convinced they’re going to go directly into my eye. It’s strange; giving blood, I’m not worried about blood loss, pain, or the fact that I consistently wind up with a bruise the size of a good sized flank steak. I’m worried that big bore needle is going to go right in my eye. Y’know, because my eye and my elbow are so close together.
Regarding turkeys, we have a wild flock living in the swamp near my woods. Should you ever be in the area and under attack, however, never fear. My little boys love to chase them so much that the poor things are conditioned to flee at the sound of a high, piping voice.
I was at the Dr’s today & my Doc’s secretary REALLY hurt her eye the night before. I’m talking damage, she leaned into a poker while cleaning and ugh. Anyways, she said they offered to sew it at the hospital and I screamed NO. There is nothing worse for me then anything near the eye area, I can’t even imagine that. So I feel you there.
Can I borrow your children to scream and scare the turkeys if they come back? lol
Sure, they’d LOVE it.
I used to have a fear of needles. Then I got a tattoo. It wasn’t the pain for me either, in fact, I kind of like that part. Hehehe. I never did figure out the root of my fear, but after 6 tattoos and two babies, I got over it.
I HATE BATHTUBS AND PUBLIC SHOWERS.
Taking a bath in a bathtub absolutely grosses me out. It does not matter if it’s my own bathtub or someone else’s. Whether I scrub the bathtub with Clorox before getting in to it and take a shower before getting in to it. I cringe forcing myself to sit in the tub, completely uncomfortable wondering what to do with myself. I cannot seem to get over the fear. When I was training for a marathon I had to ice my legs a lot and I would last maybe 2 minutes tops, not from the cold but because I couldn’t hang with the tub. I had to GTFO. I usually cannot even look at one ESPECIALLY if it is not my own, without obsessing on what is lurking in it. Same with public showers in gym locker rooms. Uh-uh, not happening, even with shower flip flops on my feet. I see one stray hair that is not mine and I want to gag! Hair all up on the shower drain and I am OUT OF THERE.
Pam, my youngest niece (12) and I have a pure freak out over hair. If there is hair on a floor, in the drain, on the wall, on our legs…we LOOSE IT. I can’t swim in public pools because you have to shower first & there is ALWAYS hair in the drains!!!
ewwww!!! I think I just got a shiver just reading this part – GROSS!!
I can’t deal with public restrooms or hotel rooms. I cringe to think what is has been sprayed all over the bedding in hotels, so I pull the comforter back with 2 fingers and then run and wash my hands. Meanwhile, my husband sprawls across his comforter face down and I want to cry.
Public restroom door handles and sinks freak me out. Airports usually have the best ones where you don’t have to touch anything, but it still doesn’t stop me from thinking about all the people that don’t wash their hands and then go over and open the bathroom door. Then I, who have washed my hands, have to touch that same handle to get out. It causes stress:)
I will say that picture you posted of a turkey is frightening, and I find a fear of it is not irrational at all:)
LMFAO they are HUGE, the one at the cottage was up to my tummy. *shudder* dirty bathrooms
For me it’s feet. Srsly. I hate feet. They creep me out. Thinking about where they’ve walked, touched, been. *shudder* No, I don’tt want to look at your pedi. Get your feet out of my face. As for touching feet-NO WAY! I don’t even like to touch my feet. My mouth actually waters up when I thinking about touching someones feet. The only way I can even consider getting a pedi or letting someone touch my feet is by taking a Valium first.
LMFAO my friend is like that, I just hate MENS feet. They’re hairy and gross.
I can handle baby feet-as long as they haven’t started walking. Once there walking-forget it.
rotflmao baby feet are so damn cute, but kid feet are all sorts of funky
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by rissatoo, Amy Stewart, Book Reader Times, Danielle La Paglia, PJ Schnyder and others. PJ Schnyder said: I finally get to find out about Turkeys RT @WickedLPixie: New Post: I'm telling you all of my irrational fears people. http://bit.ly/dBG05z [...]
Irrational fear? I can’t be in a swimming pool by myself.
I get this feeling someone dropped a shark or something in the pool with me and have to get the hell out of the water. Too many Bond movies? Too much watching Jaws or bad sci-fi B movies? Whatever – can’t be in a pool by myself.
And normally, I love swimming.
In a pool? Sharks? Yep you are as bad as I am on the irrational.
Yup. I totally admit it. But there was the Buffy episode with the Swim Team…
Wasn’t there a JAWS 642 where the shark was in the pool? I think drains are creepy. I mean, they just go down… eww. Who knows what can come back up.
Spiders. I can’t even talk about them because I will gag.
I won’t horrify you with spider stories then.
Thank you. Really. Thank you. If I had a dollar for every person who tells me a horror story involving spiders after I tell them I’m phobic…
Cockroaches, bees and the ocean. The sight of a cockroach and/or bee will instantly make me freeze in place. I’m talking cold sweats and waves of panic washing over me, immediately followed by high pitched ’13-year-old girl at a Jonas Brothers concert’ type screams. I love the ocean but, ever since the movie Jaws I can’t really be IN the ocean. I don’t like not being on the top of the food chain.
LMFAO I’ve never even seen the Ocean
I didn’t know fish freaked you out Tash, ha you should come to visit our basement sometime – looks exactly like your friends pet store
Eww no way! I will have Tika do damage!
I tried really hard to think of what irrational fear I have and came up with nothing. But thinking about Shug sure did bring lots to mind. My husband is afraid of dolphins, spiders and leftovers. The dolphins because he swears one tried to take his life when he was 17 (see WLP post about embarassing moments for that one). The spiders stem back to his childhood and he once hid in the other room while he sent me in to kill one. He also checks our effin bed everynight for spiders and the seat of his car too. And finally the leftovers. He is convinced that there is deadly bacteria growing in any left over food and it should all be thrown out. Like right away. Once he smacked a slice of pizza out of my hand that we had left over from 2 days prior and said “I just saved your life.” Me and G eat leftovers Shug and Peaches wouldn’t touch the stuff with a ten foot pole. He is also gets sick looking at my med-well steak. He flips out that G eats it that way too. Again with the killer baterica in it.
I can’t handle sticky. It’s really strange, I know.
When I was a kid, if a teacher offered me a sticker for doing something well, I’d have an absolute melt-down. Couldn’t handle it. And forget band-aids. I still have problems with this. It took me years of training to be able to handle scotch tape, and I still want to go ape if someone comes near me with a band-aid. I’d rather bleed out, haha.
The worst is when friends forget or just think it’s funny to put something sticky on me. I can feel the sticky on my skin, and even after taking whatever it is away, I have to scrub off several layers of skin before the feeling goes away. It’s really disturbing.
I too am anti band aid. I tell people I am not 3 and don’t need Hello Kitty bandaids to make me feel better. Its not a fear per se just an intense dislike of having skin and hair ripped off.
Tell me someone else puts those stickers on your mail out books. I’ve never heard of a sticky issue & me being me I went directly into perv mode.
Haha. It took me a long time, but a year and a half as a publicity assistant taught me how to handle labels! It’s entirely possible to get a label on a package while barely touching it, I promise.
Also, now that I’m a little higher up the food chain, I’ll say that mailings are a big part of why publishing has so many interns
Alive chickens, water bugs (aka LARGE cockroaches), crickets, and grasshoppers (those damn things not only jump, they FLY too!). I just know those damn things are waiting for me to come along because they ALWAYS come after me. Was chased once by a rooster when I was about 6 years old with those big-ass spurs (grandmother later chopped off his head because he attacked her and she “wasn’t having any more of his crap”!) My first year in Dallas I encountered a cricket swarm – it was night time and I was leaving my 2nd job with a co-worker and we thought it was raining…it was not raining…I screamed and gagged all the way to my car and then was scared to death that those evil MF crickets had gotten in my car…they did’t thank God! Oh, and slimy ANYTHING…makes me gag right then and there.
I can’t stand to have my back unprotected, as in, an open door or window behind me, or even a person. I have to be in control of my area at all times. I have a bit of claustrophobia as well. It doesn’t manifest in small spaces, but any space I can’t readily get out of. I guess all of my fears come down to control.
Bugs, too. I hate ‘em. I feel one little itch, and I’ll think I’m covered. But this relates to a childhood trauma.
I am telling a spider story. (For those of you earlier who were really squicked by them, here’s the warning. LOL.)
We went on vacation for about three weeks and when we got back, I was happy to climb into my bed. Wellll…. one of those egg sac things had hatched and I was covered from head to foot with baby spiders. I feel itchy now…
I have aboslutely no irrational fears. All my fears are firmly rooted in fact and experiences.
I completely agree on the fish. Hate em. Actually, I hate any seafood. I can’t even touch it. The only fish I’ll eat is tunafish because I tell myself it’s slightly salty chicken.
I’m not afraid of heights, per say, I’m afraid of falling/plummeting. I can go up to the top of the space needle- but you won’t get me near those mo-fo-ing windows. I’ll enjoy the view from waaaaay over here thanks! I haven’t ridden in enough planes to decide if I’m afraid of them- but my stomach dies every time we go up/come down. And don’t even get me started on carnival rides. I’m the death of a party when me and my friends go to fairs/carnivals. I’ll ride the slow, low kiddie rides, but no ferris wheels, roller coasters, or topsy turvy machines.
I’m as terrified of fireworks as a dog. The loud noises, the reverberating impact from the explosions… and let’s not even get into the fire hazards… IT’S TINY BITS OF TNT PEOPLE. THEY PUT IT RIGHT ON THE DAMN LABELS. -childhood was never the same after a rocket exploded SIDEWAYS out of the tubing, went five feet above my head, exploded, and lit mine and my doll’s hair on fire.
I can’t stand other people wearing my clothes- nor can I wear somethign of someone else’s without washing it several times first. My brothers have never had to buy socks, because if they wear mine once, I’ll never touch them again. I can never loan my jackets to a friend ( this has caused angry arguments between me and a friend before because she was cold and I was hot, but I wouldn’t let her wear my jacket) and if I’m cold, I’ll freeze before I’ll wear their jackets. Same thing with blankets/pillows. I’ll bring my own from home, or if I’m borrowing something, it better come from a clean linen closet and smelling like detergent.
Birds- any kind of bird freaks me out. They’ve got those razor sharp beaks, claws, and wings to hit you with. And their bones are hollow! HOLLOW! you know what else has hollow bones? Spiders. HOW FREAKY IS THAT?!?
And lastly! …Ghosts. I hate movies about them, I hate stories about them, and if you tell me your house is haunted, I’ll never step inside and I’ll cross the street before walking in front of your house. Experience has taught me that Oiji boards should NEVER be played with.