Once again I’ve asked Dakota Cassidy to bless you all with her presence & believe me she thinks she’s blessing you all. 

DC: Blessing? I thought you said DRESSING. Huge difference, but it’s to be expected from a girl who doesn’t know the diff between LOOSE and LOSE

WLP: Welcome back Homeslice, nice to know I’ve survived the trauma you put me through all this year and have came back for more.

DC: Thanks for having me again, and I put you through nothing you didn’t bring on yourself. I merely wish to broaden your vocabulary and contextual suckage. LOLLOL!

WLP: Okay, tell us about You Dropped a Blonde on Me

DC: It’s a book… 

WLP: No shit it’s a book. Tell us ABOUT what’s IN the book. So sorry for not speaking clearly enough for you to catch on to that.

DC: S’aaiiight, ‘Slice. I know you lack the finesse of a good communicator. I was keeping it simple for you. However, I’m happy to embellish. You Dropped A Blonde On Me is a brand new contemporary series about ex-trophy wives who’ve gone the way of the Doh-Doh bird and become too old for their rich ex-spouses. They’ve been traded in for newer, hotter, harder-ab’d chicks and left broke. Like totally broke. They’re all in pre-nup hell.

The first heroine is Maxine Cambridge, and she’s so broke, she and her son Connor have to move into a retirement village with her mother in order to survive. But Maxine’s determined to make her own way in the world–and while that means begging for jobs even a 16 year old wouldn’t want, it doesn’t mean she wants to regain her former riches. What she really wants is to stand on her own two feet. That isn’t easy when you have the job skills of a preschooler and a son to feed. She’s also pretty sure marriage is a “never again” deal for her. Well, until Campbell Barker, former high school classmate and all round hottie shows up…

WLP: What’s up next for you in 2011? Bookwise in case that wasn’t clear enough for you Madam Snarky. Torturing your new husband & your children do not count either.

DC: If torture isn’t involved, then I have absolutely nothing to report… LMAO! Actually, next up is Accidentally Catty in March 2011—a vet, turns into a cougar stereotype—like literally, and the second in the contemp series, Burning Down The Spouse is out in July, I think. This contemp deals with an ex-trophy wife once married to famous celeb chef, Mitch In The Kitchen. He cheats on her with Bamby’s Bakin’—and let’s just say this—there’s a reason the word “burning” is in the title!

WLP: Dakota is a Christmas FREAK people, FREAK. Tell the people how many Christmas trees you set up in your house?

DC: Only one, but I decorate every single surface I can touch. I have greenery on every armoire, countertop, and toilet seat

WLP: Speaking of Christmas trees, Dakota LOST one in her house…have you found it yet?

DC: I told you—it was in the forest with his buddies getting high and boozing. It’s pressure to be pretty for an entire month while people oh and ah over you, yes?

WLP: What kinds of food to you serve for Christmas?

DC: I-Hop J No, I kid. Usually I do a prime rib or a tenderloin roast with shrimp or lobster. This year the hubby has to work both Christmas Eve and day—so not sure what I’ll be making. Maybe Hungry Man

WLP: Do you have any holiday traditions?

DC: If you wanna see Dec 26^th you have to buy me something pretty? No. Again, I kid J We almost always do Christmas Eve dinner out somewhere really nice, but nothing too strict in the way of traditions.

WLP: Favorite Christmas Movie or Favorite Christmas Song?

DC: Fave song of all time is Silent Night by Johnny Mathis. NO ONE does it like him!

WLP: What is the worst gift you have given some poor innocent?

DC: Darling? This is me. I don’t give bad gifts—evah. EVAH. LOL

WLP: What’s the worst gift you have ever been given? (I’m afraid, someone hold me)

DC: You don’t want to hear about my monthly subscription to Larry’s House of Tattoos and Brews? Sissy…

WLP: Thanks for stopping by ‘Slice…I think…you scare me….

DC: Thanks for having me, doll—and I so do not scare you. If I do, yer a panty waste. LOLLOL! Hugs, honey!

For the first giveaway of the 13 Wicked Days of Christmas, Dakota is giving away a $25.00 Gift Certificate to Amazon!

To enter, tell us: What Christmas Song Do You HATE?

All Contests for the 13 Wicked Days of Christmas end on Wednesday December 29^th, Winners Announced On Thursday December 30^th. US/Canada ONLY.