Gnome Wars – Barbra Annino

November 19, 2011 in Reviews

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 120 KB
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Dane House; 1 edition (March 10, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004RQ84R4
  • Barbra Annino’s Website
Buy Gnome Wars at:
When Doug Baker moved into a new apartment, the last thing he expected to inherit was a gnome with a nasty temper claiming squatter’s rights. Doug has tried everything to get rid of the gnome but the little bugger refuses to leave. Now it’s war. And Doug is just about at the end of his rope until he meets Trina, a kooky chick who claims to have the answer to all his problems.Have you hugged your gnome today?

At only 5000 words, Gnome Wars is a MUST read. I read it in half an hour, the entire time I.COULD.NOT.STOP.GIGGLING! I also may have ran to Twitter and demanded that Ms. Annino write a full length based on Leroy the Gnome/Brownie. Seriously, his name is LEROY.

There’s soo much I want to tell you about this story, but since it’s only sixteen pages I can’t say anything but ITS SO DAMN FUNNY!

The characters are so enjoyable that you fall in love with them right away. Their kooky and weird and rude as hell, but you’ll love them just as much as I did.

I INSIST you buy a copy of Gnome Wars, it’s seriously the funniest short story I have ever read.

CdnMrs Reviews Shotgun Gravy by Chuck Wendig

November 18, 2011 in Reviews

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 459 KB
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Terribleminds (October 12, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005VEEVXW
  • Chuck Wendig’s Website

 Buy Shotgun Gravy at:

  • Amazon
  • Book Depository (Unavailable)

“Sometimes she wakes up at night, smelling that gunpowder smell. Ears ringing. A whimpering there in the darkness. Doesn’t always hit her at night, either. Might be in the middle of the day. She should be smelling pizza, or garbage, or cat s**t wafting from the house next door, but instead what she smells is that acrid tang of gunsmoke. All up in her nose. Clinging there like a tick…”

So begins the tale of Atlanta Burns, a young girl with a grim past lingering at the fringes of her droll and dreary high school existence. She’s content to remain there, too, or so she thinks: soon, however, she’s drawn in a battle against two separate groups of bullies – a trio of local troublemakers and a group of Neo-Nazi gay bashers – to save a pair of new and unexpected friends.

But actions have consequences, and by fighting back, Atlanta discovers she’s kicked over a log, thus revealing what hides squirming underneath.

It’s just her, her friends, and a .410 squirrel gun against a handful of bullies and a conspiracy whose worst aspects remain yet hidden.

Can she triumph?

Will her victory be paid in unseen sacrifices?

Or is fighting back just asking for a face full of bad news?

I’ve been trying to write a review of Chuck Wendig’s Shotgun Gravy since I read it (2 weeks ago, at last check). Here’s my problem, I have no words for the beautifully brutal world he’s created for protagonist Atlanta Burns and my brain feels crippled by the sheer, overall authenticity of Shotgun Gravy.

Follow me on my bunny trail of thoughts, will you?

After Steven Spielburg’s Saving Private Ryan came out I remember reading a letter from a WWII verteran commending Spielburg on how realistic and accurate he had gotten the film. Problem was, Saving Private Ryan was so accurate it seems that the elderly veteran was experiencing PTSD. This is what I felt like after reading Shotgun Gravy.

It’s been almost 15 years since I graduated High School and I have not thought about it much. I was not one of those kids who went back to visit teachers, I didn’t really like High School and grade 9 and 10 were particularly difficult for me. Since reading Shotgun Gravy I’ve remembered things I haven’t thought about since I was 15 years old I remember thinking that I was probably the only virgin whore in existence or how I needed to make sure to arrive early to 10th grade math so that I could hide in the furthest corner of the classroom where certain people wouldn’t bother me. It also made me remember the simmering tension between the native/immigrant/weird/anybody else kids and the popular crowd or the way even teachers would join in on picking on a certain kid because that kid was “bringing it on him/herself” by acting/dressing/doing anything differently than the rest of the homogeneous masses. I also remembered the one openly gay guy at our school (he was around 6ft, wore false eyelashes and had way more confidence than I did) and I remembered feeling that if these were the best years of my life I wanted a fucking refund.

That’s how authentic Shotgun Gravy is! Wendig doesn’t water down or sanitize the High School experience he writes it in all it’s violent, soul sucking, ugliness. He in no way comes across as a pretentious adult, looking down his nose at the various High School castes, but rather talks the talk and walks the walk as if he’d somehow infiltrated the mind and body of a teenager in the American High School system. Wendig isn’t preachy or self-righteous, he just lays it out flat and calls it like he sees it.

Then I got nervous. My High School experience was pre-Columbine. Nobody worried about one of the bullied bringing a gun to school, trench coats weren’t banned, but were instead filled with cheap cigarettes and Magic cards, and there was no such thing as a lock down procedure. Should Chuck Wendig really be writing a novella that deals with the issue of bullying but is unapologetically dark and violent?

And…that’s when my awesome self kicked my nervous, middle class, housewife self’s ass. Of course, he should be writing this!

The problem of bullying, that some say was the flame that ignited events like Columbine, hasn’t ceased to exist because schools have adopted zero tolerance policies or started LGBT support groups. If anything, the problem of bullying has become worse and we need to talk about it, we need to be aware of it and we need to be active in the fight against it, in all it’s forms. Shotgun Gravy was like a kick in the pants reminding me, in my nice house, with my nice job and my well-repressed memories of High School, that in 6 or 7 years I’m going to have a kid in High School and if I don’t watch, listen to, love on and teach him, he’s either going to be part of the bullying problem or the solution.

I know I didn’t really tell you anything about this book, about it’s narrative, character development or literary bla, bla, bla, but buy it (it costs $2.99!!), read it, repent of your evil bullying ways and find a way to be part of the solution. Join an anti bullying group or raise your kids to be kind and tolerant by being a kind and tolerant person yourself.

Shotgun Gravy will blow your mind and open your eyes.

CdnMrs Reviews – Destined Mate by Katie Reus

November 12, 2011 in Reviews

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 208 KB (61 pages)
  • Publisher: Harlequin Nocturne Cravings (October 1, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005N99JFK
  • Katie Reus Website
Buy Destined Mate at:

 

Almost a century ago, Angela Lavigne and Alpha werewolf Knox had a shared passion neither could control. Then Angela was turned into a vampire and disappeared.

The last thing Knox expects is for Angela to show up on his doorstep on a rescue mission, as sexy and irresistible as ever. And he can sense how much she still wants him, too. She’s gone against both their species’ rules and trespassed on his land. By law he can keep her as long as he wants–and Knox doesn’t intend to let her go ever again.

As their desire explodes once again, Knox is more sure than ever that he must claim her forever. But as vampire and werewolf, they are natural born enemies. Can she truly be his destined mate?

Destined Mate is 60 pages of action packed, steamy, good times. The heroine, Angela Lavigne, (who’s name I totally thought was Avril Lavigne because, apparently, I need glasses.) is a vamp who was involuntarily made, who in her attempt to save a friend finds herself back in the arms of an old lover and at the centre of a dispute that could derail the Vampire/Werewolf peace talks.  Knox, her hot, wolf former lover is ecstatic that he has finally found his mate after losing track of her after her vampiric conversion, nearly a century ago and he will do whatever necessary to prove to her that they are meant to be together.

The action in Destined Mate is fast paced and very Underworld meets The Matrix, but it’s not in a way that will make you question the author’s originality, more in a way that will make you want to watch these films again. An homage, of sorts, if you will.

A low, guttural growl sounded to her left. A werewolf with gleaming white teeth hurtled through the air toward her.  Using all her lower body strength, she jumped high in the air. She couldn’t clear the six foot beast so she used his back as a springboard and landed on the hard earth.  At least she landed on both feet.

The romance in Destined Mate is also fast paced, due to the characters’ history together and well, the fact that this is a 60 page novella. :) . No matter the speed of the romance it comes across as genuine with each character having understandable fears about resuming their relationship now that one is a werewolf and the other a vampire in a world in which peace may be on its way for these species, but in which prejudices are deep.

Ninety years ago she’d been terrified of what he’d do to her. Now she was terrified of losing him again. The one thing she knew for sure was that now she had a second chance with the man who’d never left her heart or thoughts.  She wasn’t going to walk away again.

Destined Mate ends with a HEA (It’s Harlequin, that was not a spoiler.) but not one of those too sweet, fairy tale HEAs. At the novella’s end, both Angela and Knox are committed in their love for each other but they also both understand that their life and love won’t be easy, that they’ll have challenges to work through together. For me that’s an ultimate HEA and it helped to cap off this novella perfectly.

I absolutely recommend this novella for a quick, fun read. I’ll totally be checking out Katie Reus’ other books now.

Mini Monday Reviews (Bad Luck Cadet, Snap, Bloodstone, Just My Bloodtype)

November 10, 2011 in Monday Mini Reviews

We have a guest author on Monday, so next weeks instalment of Mini Monday Reviews has been moved to Thursday!

Free Read at:

When I saw the premiss of Bad Luck Cadet I knew I had to read it. Suzy Ivy damn near made me pee myself! Out of nowhere Ivy decides she is going to join the police force, what follows is the funny and some truly touching moments. What I know for sure, Ivy is one kick ass lady with a sense of humour that every single police officer should have. She loves her job and watch out if she arrests you, she might hug you. Seriously.

Free Read at:

I’m friends with the subject of this story on Twitter, Xan and he has no idea I’ve read his story. Xan is a vampire who lives in a bar and is the bassist for the band Crooked Fang. When romance author Therese comes for a visit, the attraction is undeniable. You’ll fall in love with Xan in this short story, but rest assured a full length novel is coming soon. Just My Blood Type is a short read (26 pages) and it just wets the appetite. No pun intended. Maybe.

Buy Snap at:

While I loved the idea of the story (SNAP, a multinational celeb TV show and magazine, is the holy grail for Maxie Gwenoch. When she snags the job as managing editor, she’s looking for fame, fortune and Jimmy Choos. What she finds is a media empire owned by Baron Kandesky and his family. A family of vampires. They’re European, urbane, wealthy and mesmerizing. And when she meets Jean-Louis, vampire and co-worker, she’s a goner.), it just didn’t work for me. I felt it moved too slow and was often very confusing as it shifted back and forth too much. I thought there would be more humour, alas it didn’t work well for me. I really wanted to like this story but it just didn’t work.

Buy Bloodstone at:

I love me some Stacy Justice and once again Barbra Annino doesn’t disappoint in this the follow up to Opal Fire! I loved that Stacy finally picks her man, and that she is still terrible with her magic. I did miss her crazy aunt because she doesn’t get as much time in the book. My only issue was the diary entries from Stacy’s “sister”, she really irritated me. I couldn’t stand the kid, she didn’t come across as any character I would like to hear from. I’d have much rather heard Aunt L! Still, an enjoyable read! Can’t wait to see what’s next for the women who are becoming my favourite witches.

Fighting To Survive – Rhiannon Frater

November 8, 2011 in Reviews

  • Paperback: 368 pages
  • List Price: $14.99
  • Publisher: Tor Books; First Edition edition (November 8, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0765331276
  • ISBN-13: 978-0765331274
Buy Fighting to Survive at:
Picking up where The First Days ends, Fighting to Survive features the further zombie-killing, civilization-saving adventures of a pair of sexy, kick butt heroines and the men who love them. A hundred or so survivors of the zombie plague have found tenuous safety in the walled off center of a small Texas town. Now the hard work of survival begins—finding enough food; creating safe, weather-resistant shelter; establishing laws; and fighting off both the undead who want to eat them and the living bandits who want to rob and kill them.
My favourite zombie series of 2011!

There’s around 100 or so survivors of the zombie plague that are living together to build a new civilization, but their running out of room. They must breech the walls of the hotel next door before more survivors turn up. But of course, that hotel could possibly contain a ton of zombies since it’s been uninhabited by any humans since the outbreak.

On top of that, they need supplies! Food, guns, medication and clothing need to be found. It’s all a race, because more and more zombies are turning up. People are getting testy, in-fighting is common because there really isn’t a police force or rules to follow.

Once again Rhiannon Frater gives us gripping emotional meltdowns & hook-ups, all while *snicker* they are fighting to survive. Trust me when I say, do not start this book if you can’t read it non-stop. You won’t want to put it down, it’s just so damn gripping. You are totally invested in the characters and the back stories, you root for them and you wish them well. It really is an emotional rollercoaster!

Even if you aren’t a fan of zombies, you need to pick up this series. It’s brilliantly written and truly one of the most engaging series I’ve ever read!