Wendy Tells You How To Bag A Nerd
June 30, 2010 in Guest Bloggers, WLP Wants To Know
If you’re like me, there just isn’t enough hours in a day for everything you want to get done. There’s work (12-hours shifts? Shoot me now) school and that pesky thing called life! If you’re even more like me (which BTW, you should be wary of this right.. about… NOW) you need your reading time, like seriously. Or you get slightly homicidal. What? But never fear! After much research (read: bitching and moaning) I have found the solution!
While there’s not much we can do about work – You DO need money for your book addition, you know! – I got the school thing down pat. You need one of these:
Here’s the plan! (Disclaimer: While this might work for some, it might get you in trouble with school and/or the police system. Please be sure to have a bail buddy on call. See: Brooke of That’s QUEEN Bitch to you. She’s mine, back off.)
First, forget the bra. You definitely don’t want to be wearing one for this. You need to approach your victim (see: picture) in a flirtatious way. Image you’re talking to this hot piece of ass:
Er, where was I? Oh!
Once you have made contact, you are to play the slightly-dumb-this-is-so-hard-I-wish-I-had-a-manly-man-like-you-to-help-me damsel in distress. Guys dig this. (FYI, this can be applied to ALL man.). This will make your victim PU-TTY in your hands. He will feel the need to assist you by say, doing your homework, maybe writing that little term paper, little things like that.. (Please make sure you hint at your school work being too much. Guys are a little [read: *snort* A lot] dense sometimes) and tada! Now you have plenty o’ time to read! You’re welcome.
P.S. If you try this procedure with some unsavory results, i.e. stalking, it’s not my fault. MAYBE you should have wore a bra, you hussy.
