ERRATA: This is Errata Jones at CSUP, the station that denies and defies the normal in paranormal. We’re coming to you from the beautiful University of Fairview campus on a cold and frosty night. To kick off this evening’s show, we‘re talking to Constance Moore, vampire and heroine of Sharon Ashwood’s new release, SCORCHED. Welcome, Constance.

CONSTANCE:  Thank you. I’m pleased to be here.

ERRATA:  You live in the Castle, an interdimensional prison for the supernatural. For those listeners not familiar with the place, imagine the dungeon from a B movie—stone, torchlight, no windows to the outside. Constance, what can you tell us about living there?

CONSTANCE:  The decor needs work and the gargoyles can be a nuisance, but in the last few months, things are greatly improved. I’ve enjoyed getting cable television very much.  I love Dancing with the Stars.

ERRATA: Where did you live before you came to the Castle?

CONSTANCE: My family—there were three boys and three girls, and I was the youngest—worked on a farm in Ireland. This was back in the 1750s. The lord who owned the estate allowed us to work a small piece of land for ourselves, but most of the labour we did was for him. I worked as one of the milkmaids from the time I was a little girl.

ERRATA: How did the supernatural come into your life?

CONSTANCE: When I was seventeen, a good-looking soldier came to stay in a nearby village. It turned out he was a vampire. It was a sorry business all around. He was a terrible kisser.

The next thing I knew, I was climbing out of my grave and the Castle guardsmen took me prisoner. They threw me into the prison before I’d even had a chance to taste blood.  There I was, half a vampire, without enough power to look after myself properly. Back then, the Castle wasn’t a nice kind of place. No place for decent folk.

ERRATA:  But things have changed since Mac arrived in the castle?

CONSTANCE:  Things are always different once the hero arrives. He brought me the first roses I’d seen in two hundred and fifty years.

ERRATA:  That’s a very romantic gesture. Is he old-fashioned?

CONSTANCE:  That’s a relative term, given that I was born when a gentleman still wore a powdered wig. On the other hand, when a good-looking man takes off his shirt, who cares which century he was born in. My focus is on whether he’s tasty in the right ways.

ERRATA: That’s your vampire side talking.

CONSTANCE:  Maybe.

ERRATA:  You seem very modern, given when you were born.

CONSTANCE: I love this century. I love the clothes, the entertainment, and the freedom. I love that there are so many books available to everyone. That wasn’t always the case.

ERRATA:  So how’s your to-be-read pile?

CONSTANCE: Let’s just say it’s growing to demonic proportions. But I have a whole dimension to fill with bookshelves—I don’t need to worry about space!

ERRATA:  One last question.  What’s happening in the Castle for Christmas?

CONSTANCE:  It’s the first time we’ve celebrated Christmas there, and lots of the residents are getting into the spirit. Stockings, tinsel, fireplaces, carol singing—we’re pulling out all the stops. There are some challenges, though. It’s hard to put up a tree when there are dragons around.  The first two caught fire and ruined all the decorations.  The third time, the dark fairy folk supplies the ornaments. Little glass fangs and spider webs and sparkly bat wings. It’s all rather odd, but still pretty.

ERRATA:  Well, Merry Christmas to all you folk in the Castle.

CONSTANCE:  Happy Holidays, one and all.

CONTEST ALERT!!

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